While 94% think Attorney General Eric Holder is a poorly disguised Reverend Jeremiah Wright.
Report: Countries prepping for cyberwar
Major countries and nation-states are engaged in a “Cyber Cold War,” amassing cyberweapons, conducting espionage, and testing networks in preparation for using the Internet to conduct war, according to a new report to be released on Tuesday by McAfee.
What Shall Your Spam Filter Automatically Delete Tomorrow?
Newsletter from exclamation point and free money fan club — 3%
Every fourth message received — 48%
Desperate question regarding stuck caps lock button — 11%
Grandpa’s one good email forward of the year — 8%
Final warning/threat from bank — 4%
Urgent request from best friend on vacation in Nigeria — 9%
Ad for penis enhancement product you really could’ve used — 2%
Virus activated by spam filter’s attempt to delete it — 15%
Were You Aware?
The size of your headphones is inversely proportional to your resistance to the subliminal commands they embed in your favorite music.
Self-Checkout Stations
Pros:
—No embarrassment over condom purchase
—50% less attitude than human clerk
—Satisfaction of a minimum-wage task well done
Cons:
—Wait, you totally just did a minimum-wage task for free
—50% less flirtatious than human clerk
—Computer auto-uploads condom purchase details to Facebook
As followers of this blog are no doubt aware, the future will be entirely user-generated, with funny cat videos replacing sitcoms, custom someecards.com replacing Hallmark, etc. In that spirit, some friends and I entered Doritos’ homemade Super Bowl commercial contest. I think you’ll find it’s a chilling vision of were we as a snacking society are headed.
If you’re curious, I play the shady character who licks his lips in slo-mo.
Digital Tattoo Interface Turns Your Skin Into A Display Intrument Of Oppression
There are implants which are purely aesthetic required by law, and then there’s the Digital Tattoo Interface concept. It’s a blood-powered electronic interface which is embedded under skin to mimic a tattoo, display videos or act as a phone or computer tracking device or remote kill switch.
As great totalitarian as it seems, this concept is seriously creepy awesome because it powers itself by converting the glucose and oxygen found in blood into electricity a mind-control neurotoxin. Getting your blood sucked by a gadget is worth it for the endless potential applications loss of unwanted freedoms.
NEW YORK, NY — Taxi driver Qasim Muhammad, racing a fellow cabbie to JFK Airport on November 11, 2041, drove fast enough on the Long Island SuperExpressway to tear a hole in space-time and hit a bike courier in midtown exactly 32 years before.
Rock Music Quality Vs. U.S. Oil Production
Supplementary Warning: with oil being a lagging indicator, we can expect the Andrew Lloyd Webber-Green Day collaboration about a year before fossil fuel reserves run dry.
(via tumblelikeyougiveadamn)
Quality cuts of meat, fresh fish and high-priced cheeses are being taken by mostly middle-class women from speciality food and convenience shops, where thefts have risen sharply in the past year. Thousands of retailers have found that luxury foods are being stolen for individual use rather than to be sold on.
…
Neil Matthews, vice-president of Checkpoint Systems, said that he was astonished at the rise of middle-class shoplifters. “We are not simply looking at your traditional shoplifters here. We are seeing more instances of amateur thieves stealing goods for their own personal use rather than to sell on than before,” he said.“This is epitomised in the recent uprising of the middle-class shoplifter, someone who has turned to theft to sustain their standard of living. I suppose people want to carry on with their lifestyle but cannot afford the expensive cheeses, fresh cuts of meat or nice fish that they used to be able to afford and now they just take it. This is the first year we have seen a huge rise in theft of these items and we are being told it is for their own consumption rather than to sell on.”
Forthcoming Music Genres To Avoid
Prepare For The Future No. 3: Mutants
Prepare For The Future is a feature designed to get you thinking critically about how to handle the terrible future that awaits us all.
Whether by Darwinian or radioactive means, mutants will soon live among us. They will look weird and move weird and more than likely smell weird. But they will be a minority, which means that when the first telekinetic baby makes its Oprah debut, it’ll be time to get motherfucking oppressive on that shit.
Politicians, even while fanning the bonfires of hate that burn so brightly in us all, will be slow to act. They will quibble over minor details of mutant control instead of just outlawing teleportation. That’s why it’s critical that we start getting anti-mutant legislation on the books this instant. What sort of Orwellian laws would you like to have in place to victimize this new and therefore terrifying offshoot of humanity? Which elected officials or bureaucrats would you trust to get the job done? Should mutants, for our entertainment, simply be forced to fight to the death in football stadiums during the offseason like so many Pokémon?
You make the call.
