February 2009
29 posts
“In the far reaches of Shaanxi Province in northern China, in an apple-producing...”
– Rose George, “Yellow Is The New Green,”
New York Times, Feb. 27, 2009
a rare attempt at clarification
if hate the future recently started following you and you have no idea why, it’s probably because you liked or reblogged something from the notes, my other tumblr.
Thanks For All The Trauma
Dear Other Six Survivors Of The Unexpected But Probably Preventable Disaster That Occured Roughly 90 Minutes Ago:
I think it’s fair to say those of us who get out of here alive will emerge with a bond unlike any other. We stared death in the face, performed incredible and daring feats to save one another, and experienced a character-driven dramatic tension that we will ultimately...
5 More Actual Companies Whose Names Should Terrify...
I. BLANK ROME LLP
II. ACTION PANTS INC.
III. ORACLE CORP.
IV. PARALLAX CAPITAL PARTNERS LLC
V. LIQUIDATION WORLD INC.
“We now expect the global economy to come to a virtual halt.”
– IMF Chief Economist Olivier Blanchard
Thought-Control(ling) Bionic Arms
When: At the rate diabetes is going, they’ll soon be a customary 50th birthday present.
What: In post-postmodern America, bionic arm controls YOU!
WTF: Also, you’re disqualified from the tug-of-war.
Amanda Kitts says her brain sends electrical signals to this prosthetic arm that tell it how to move. That is so what a sentient prosthetic arm would make its human host say.
Why...
On Nearsightedness
Televisions “To Be Fitted In Contact Lenses Within Ten Years”
…
The sets would be powered by the viewer’s body heat, according to Ian Pearson, a so-called “futurologist” who has advised leading companies including BT on new technologies.
Mr Pearson told the Daily Mail he believed that channels could be changed by voice command or via a wave of the hand.
...
Every Swear Word Ever Uttered On "The Sopranos" In... →
Shoot.
Freakin’ shoot.
Freakin’.
Freakin’.
Freakin’.
Freakin’ mother-touchers.
Freak you.
Bull shoe.
Freak you.
Freak.
Freak.
Fat wussy.
Freakin’ freak you.
Snowglobe.
Freakin’ freak you, fugly mother-toucher.
Freakin’ shoot him for freak’s sake.
You insensitive freak.
Fan-freakin’-tastic.
Bull shoe.
Freakin’.
...
Freedom Tower
When: 2009 2011 2040 get comfortable when the Knicks are good again
What: The terrorists’ ongoing victory.
WTF: In the wake of September 11, 2001, Americans banded together in a display of awe-inspiring solidarity and made the courageous choice to bicker endlessly over the one action which might have proved that their solidarity wasn’t just empty rhetoric wrapped in a giant flag...
Cease & Desist
Dear Quirky, Outgoing Character:
Just because I’m numb to the world and dying inside doesn’t mean I need to be saved by some free-spirited pixie or a non-white person with a gentle voice. Stay on your side of the room and keep your life-affirming attitude to yourself.
Signed,
Protagonist
PS. Indie poseurs called, they want their taste in music back.
“Facebook is, he told me, studying “sentiment” behavior. It hasn’t yet used that...”
– Scobleizer — Tech geek blogger » Blog Archive Zuckerberg: Facebook’s “intense” year «
(via mbb)
The Curious Case Of This Immortal Jellyfish That...
When: Full-scale interspecies war by 2010
What: Turritopsis Nutricula
WTF: No doubt influenced by irresponsible, gimmick-hungry Hollywood and the diseased imagination of a certain drunkard named F. Scott Fitzgerald, one of the grossest life forms on the planet has decided to beat death.
Why start eating peanut-butter-only sandwiches: Because we can’t trust anything with the gooey...
