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The U.S. Government 2K9 Proudly Presents

The Get Your Unemployed Friend To Do That Program

Odds are, there’s some annoying errand you wanted to get done today but won’t because of your precious 9-to-5 job.

Odds are, you have an unemployed friend buried under a mountain of pizza boxes and X-Box controllers and depression and cat somewhere on the other side of town.

With the passage of legislation that will revolutionize the way we think about human capital and cost an unprecedented $0, the unemployed (pictured above) will become de facto assistants to any employed acquaintance, unable to refuse favors major or minor unless they’ve found a job or are already carrying out a task for another employed acquaintance.

It is hoped that the new program will cut down on muscle atrophy and the evening rush at the grocery store, all while not fomenting a violent class war.